I Don't Want to Belong
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Most of us spend our childhood, teen years and often our adult years longing to belong. We want to be accepted, approved of and even liked. We look for people who are like-minded and enjoy the things that we do. We look for commonality through work, hobbies, and belief systems. We connect with people who value what we value and have walked in the shoes we've walked in. As I've journeyed through life I have certainly met many people with whom I share beliefs, passions about social issues and common interests. I have joined "clubs" that give me a sense of belonging. I have also joined clubs where quite frankly I don't want to belong. I have walked through painful life experiences that connect me in real ways with others that share those painful experiences. Those are not clubs that I wanted to join.
My mom is battling cancer right now. She is like many women --1 in 3 as a matter of fact, that fight cancer in their lifetime. 1 in 3. That's an astonishing number. A friend recently said to her that they are in a club that they never wanted to join. It's a powerful statement. Those "clubs" like cancer, divorce, and abuse, connect us on a deep human level where we find ourselves in the most feared of places, those places that are unchartered waters. Places where we are without a map and are terrified of what's to come. In the midst of our darkest hours is where every fear is realized and our anxieties are heightened. We don't want to belong to that club, but we also need our fellow club members to survive.
I dare to say that most of us belong to one of those clubs or will at some point in our life. If you're reading this, you are likely in a profession that requires a lot from you. Jobs in the non-profit, small business and public sector are emotionally taxing as much as they are fulfilling. When life is challenging and then you are thrown an unexpected curve ball, it can be hard to keep your head above water. When you get the curve ball that pulls the rug out from under you, it can knock you flat. But you have to hang in there. You can't give up.
Max Lucado is one of my favorite writers. He incites wisdom that I have needed at some very difficult points in my personal journey. He says:
You'll get through this,
It won't be painless.
It won't be quick.
But God will use this mess for good.
Don't be foolish or naive.
But don't despair either.
With God's help, you'll get through this.
