Why the my?
It's not yours. I read many memos and emails from heads of organizations and have numerous conversations with nonprofit leaders and practitioners. One of the tell-tale signs of an imbalanced leader can be found in the use of pronouns. My staff....my employees....my clients.... I, me, mine are too frequently used when We or Our or The would do. So today's burning question is..."Why the my?"
Servant leadership is about the 'we'. You know....the first shall be last kind of leadership. Nonprofits are a body -- they have a governing board, the executive leadership/CEO and then sometimes VP's or directors, maybe mid-level managers, front-line staffers and volunteers. Everyone in the organization is important. No one is MORE important; people just have different roles. When a leader uses 'my' it usually follows that they have ego-centric leadership. It's as if their place in the organization becomes the defining point of everyone else's place. "My board....." uh, you mean, the organization's board. "My staff..." uh, you mean the staff of the organization? "My director..." uh, you mean the organization's director? They aren't YOURS.....
When I hear the 'my' it tells me that the 'user-of-my' thinks he/she/they is/are more important. The 'my' indicates it's all about you, not we. Ego-centric leadership doesn't belong in the charitable sector. It's here, mind you, it just shouldn't be.
Are you guilty of this? Join me in re-framing your "my." And together let's commit to "why the my" to help our colleagues and friends grow in their development in servant leadership.
-Mindy Muller, CFRE, President/CEO of CDP
