Struggling Through Mother’s Day

Sunday is the day many families will celebrate and honor mothers. I'm not opposed to the 'holiday'. Mothers should be recognized, valued, cherished and honored. Scripture is very clear to honor our mothers (and fathers). But too often we don't acknowledge the wounds attached to this day for so many people.

There are women who aren't mothers. Perhaps they cannot bear children or have made the choice not to procreate or are still waiting for Prince Charming to make their family dreams come true. Our society isn't kind to women who have a path that doesn't include motherhood. Women are often belittled -- albeit often subtly -- for not fulfilling what some would suggest is their primary purpose and call.

There are women who have/had terrible mothers. There are people with significant mommy wounds that are dredged up each Mother's Day. Feelings of inadequacies, rejection, regret, anger or bitterness come in waves as they look at the perfect family portraits that are so readily displayed by others. Many mothers did not add up to society's or our own expectations. Perhaps our mothers parented with trauma or addiction or selfishness and it left scars that are reopened this day each year.

There are women who struggle with step parenting or foster parenting, trying to make up on a day-to-day basis for the lack of mothering of the "real" moms. These everyday moms often feel disappointed or sad or forgotten on Mother's Day as the real mom gets honored.

There are those who have recently lost their mom or others who are desperately missing her again this Mother's Day. There are those deeply grieving a mother's hug or support or traditions lost. There are those who have lost a child and are enduring unbearable grief that is compounded on Mother's Day. Those moms do not have that daughter to honor them or the annual son's call wishing her a Happy Mother's Day.

If you are struggling through this Mother's Day, please know you are not alone. If you are celebrating this Mother's Day, please be sensitive to the hardship this holiday brings for many. Be honored and honor well but not at the expense of compassion.

-Mindy Muller, CFRE, President/CEO of CDP

** I had a wonderful Mother. I am missing her for the 4th Mother's Day since she passed away. This picture reflects the journey of my life as both daughter and mom.